Out of Nowhere
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
1:06 AM
Haythar!
I'm VERY bored now, so I'll see what my brain has in store today.
Oh wait I dont have a brain. Or something like that.
Just playin.
My childhood isnt really wonderful.
I remember, back when I was in pre-school,
I'd throw toys at this guy in my class. One time, i made him cry, and my teacher had to phone
my mum to rat on me. I should've thrown the toy at her.__.
And then when I was 8, I'd buy this bottle of sugary drink, cause I FUCKIN FEEL LIKE IT. actually no I was just thirsty. Anyway, my dad didnt allow me to buy those so I had to lie to him;
Son, what did you buy that costs a dollar?
Oh uhm Dad, a pack of cheap condoms five fishballs.
Obviously, I couldn't lie, and I got whipped by his belt for that.
My favourite memory, is when I learnt to swear aged 4.
Kay so I was watching this episode of Power Rangers, and one of the masked madmen
got hurt. Frankly, I was pissed. sidenote: glimpses of insanity from a tender age.
So i tried to form a word, but I couldn't, in the end I made up random pronounciations and somehow mouthed a 'WHAT THE FUCK'
Believe you me, my mother was next to me and she wasnt impressed.
I think it's great to be a kid. While I'm glad the theoratical mugging days are over, but I miss those times when I can flirt and then blame it on my brand new stage of puberty. I miss kicking stones in the basketball court. I miss making staple 'landmines' and placing them on someone's chair. Mean, but fuckin hilarious.
Poly's still hella fun. I wished there were more caucasians though. I swear, I can't communicate with many people cause they all speak mandrin. HAHA oh, you know, the reason mandrin exists because the people from China can't speak proper english, so the words sounded garbled and fucked. All of a sudden, Chairman Mao had a gnarly idea.
"Let's take these failure sounding words, and reshape them into our OWN language, Mandrin!"
heil China. I wonder what else's gonna be fake?
EXTRA EXTRA WOMAN GETS FIRST REAL LOOKING PENIS.. only to find out that it IS real. A Mr Liu Xi Men[nevermind if you dont get it] requests that some kind soul return his penis back to him.
I'm fuckin bored. I'm like the only free person right nao. Fuck my uncle, apparently he forgot that he has already reserved a place in his company for my cousin and I and have since hired two more workers to fill that slot.
YAY ME.
Is being an escort easy? I mean, you get your face shoved into a fat lady's tits every 5 minutes, while she sits on you singing a mandrin sob shit by JJ Fuckin Lin or something.
>>BREAKING NEWS: not really.
But I think the way Singaporeans claim that Singlish makes them unique is quite dumb.
It's more of an excuse knowing that your sentences will ALWAYS sound like shit. I mean, if your accent is somewhat normal despite occasional singlish usage here and there, then that's fine. But if you're some stupid aunty flailing her flabby arms wildly while demanding her discount then you should really shut the fuck up. If this is uniquely Singapore, it must be in a queer way.
I'm fuckin tired, so I'mma go masturbatesleep now. Don't forget to tag!
ciao amigos<3
INTERLUDE
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
1:22 AM
I dont know what to say. I honestly came here with nothing in mind. HAHA,
fuckin spontaneous much?
Anyway, for those of you who're hella conservative,
fuck isn't a vulgarity. It might be crude, yes, but that's what makes it
so good to use. DUH.
I have a theory behind all this.
Fuck basically means: Fornication Under the Crown of our Kings. None of them are taboo words. Except fornication. But if it's vulgar then sex would have to be vulgar. Imagine, like a survey which askes for your sex.
Would you then go, uh sorry I can't fuckin answer your controversial question.
Okay, maybe it has a different meaning, but people are too squarish to comprehend that.
Like, the moment you ask that question in a train, like,
HEY YOU LOOK BUTCH, WHAT'S YOUR SEX[not gender cause it has 2 fuckin syllabus]. Just playin, but if you were to ask that, you'll be getting dirty looks from everyone.
Someone might even take a picture of you and post it on STOMP: Teenager's bold question in a public train
Speaking of public, I've come to a conclusion that I don't need to care about the general public opinion. Cause if I do, then I'll technically be fretting over ONE person's opinion. Why? One person remarks and the rest agrees.
I really applaud people with different views cause it shows that they're not fuckin posers, by trying to imitate everyone.
I wonder why some people just dont get that if the heart's not willing the result's gonna suck huge balls.
STOP FORCING PEOPLE ALREADY. We're like, accountable for our own actions anyway. So why try fruitlessly to see YOUR stand. I have my own values and morals and I do share them, but I don't force em down people's throats. If i did, I'll be a hypocrite cause I basically believe in originality.
So yeah, back to my topic, I don't care what others think. Unless it's a sensible comment. Not,
Eww you're disgusting/childish/retarded/weird/sick in the mind. OR, MY ALL TIME FUCKIN FAVOURITE:
How're you gonna be successful in future, you're fading from God, I'm disappointed in you. Like WHOA.
I don't really have anything to say to that comment, cause I can't be fucked to argue. Like, think whatever you want, but you're gonna be the only pissed off motherfucker in the end, while i sit back and jack off to porn,
not giving a fuck about anything.
oh and I find it hilarious when people call me childish, and then they try to act like they're mature, but fail so bad? I like that phrase "act your age". Kay why the fuck should I? I can be whoever i wanna be. Nuff said.
There was this guy in high school, trying to mature. Seeing as IM NOT, he gives me a dirty look cause I'm supposedly immature.
Fuckin joke, cause the way one acts physically, does not reflect his whole mentality of life.
Like, I could be acting all psychotic in public, but I really like listening to people's problems and contemplating life. Maybe it's just my split personality, HAHA. not really, but my point is that you shouldnt judge a book by its cover. And no, I'm not trying to justify my actions cause I dont see the need to account to anyone.
WHOA, I think this will be a long post.
my penis is so long that when i stretch it on a keyboard, it goes from A-Z- EPIC WIN.
There're tons of movies I wanna watch. Anyone free? ):
Really if i get really bored ill start pasting hair on Barbie's armpits and her dungeon of love.
Looking for daring people to disgust the public please!
Intolerance
Friday, September 25, 2009
11:54 PM
Hay guys.
I just realised that I tend to have tons of things which I can't stand at all.
If you have been talking to me for a long time, you'll know what I mean.
And it's not all that bad either, I mean, who the fuck likes everything?
Everyone has like, a custon fuse, which will be blown by different things.
For example, racists blow up when they see 'inferior races' walking down the street.
Terrorists blow up, well, when they see a crowd.
As for me, I'm a combination of both. nah just playin.
But apart from the rest of the pet peeves that I've been posting about for a million times,
I really HATE fitting in. It fuckin bugs me when people shun 'different' individuals.
Which is fine, I get to know who're my true friends, other than bootlickers.
Anyway, to all of you who tries desperately to fit in, dont. Stop making a fuckhead outta yourself. You were born different from the rest so fuckin be different. Imagine, early in his years, a 6 year old tries to fit in?
Cool guy: Omg I love black.
potential fuckhead: Actually, I love lime green but since you're so cool Imma like black as well.
See how fuckin stupid that is? It's the same thing nao, just on a whole new level.
Don't be a fuckin dumbass, be who you are today, and all flavours to this shit of a country.
Or migrate!
The problem with Singaporeans is that they're too shy to stand out. Look at America,
so many different types of people. Though some arent necessarily good, but at least they're diverse. We, on the other hand, are classified under ONE group: ugly singaporeans.
Frankly, I'm really ashamed to be here.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a partriot and never will be. If people invade us, I'm gonna
get the hell outta here :D
but let's get real, nobody buys that "die for our country" bullshit anymore.
Which shows that conscription isnt gonna work. How the fuck are non-patriots gonna
fight for their country? It's not like National Service is gonna change their minds, so in the event of a war, we're ALL running away. It's like forcing someone who dosent like mandrin to learn it and work in china. EVERYTHING wouldnt add up.
So yeah, I have tons of pet peeves. enjoy. .___.
Away from the Norm
Thursday, September 24, 2009
1:08 AM
Today, I'm gonna talk about all the exciting things that had happened to me
over the holidays.
I watched paint dry. the end
Fuckin boring.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HANDCUFFS?!?!?!):
That Fuckin Nerd
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
12:24 AM
Hay guys, I was wondering, what if I could have mah split personalities magnified here.
hmmmm......
_____________________________________
Good day everybody, my name is Ben, and I am so excited to be blogging,
even though I really much prefer reading the encyclopedia. I have read it a
grand total of 67435 times. Did you know, that's the exact amount of IQ I have.
I am still unsure if IQ can be counted. I haven't really got the time to do an extended
research on that. That is because I'm rather busy with the annual science fair.
I'm helping this very nice company build a mechanical horse. But for some reason,
instead of a horse, I'm supposed to use a rather long stick of corn, expect that it's twice
as long and it's pale, like the color of my happysacks. I don't really like that word,
because it sounds inappropriate ghetto name for such a magnificent body part, the testicle.
Enough about that, I shall now lament about my days in school. As a budding genius, I am,
as expected, constantly bullied. That's okay though. Personally, I find that kind of action childish, and I try to tolerate, thanks to the superb advice my mother gave to me: He who laughs last laughs best. So, instead of using my mega punch on them, I wait til the last bell rings, and then I start laughing. HAH! I WIN!
Back to present, I am going to tell you what I'm good at. I can make people laugh, and I am very proud about that. Let me tell you, my jokes are top notch. Okay here's one: What did one weed addict say to another? Why the bong face! Please stop laughing now, I need to continue my story. But that's understandable, I have that effect on everyone. In fact, when people see me, they already start laughing before I can tell another one of my classic jokes.
I dislike distasteful jokes, I really do. I hate it when delinquents misuse the elements of the
periodic table for their senseless jokes. Last christmas, the class jerk Rob told me to have a Merry Bismuth. What the fornication is that supposed to mean? He is such a queer. I don't get it though, why is he so popular? Maybe cause he's the first to respond to my jokes, by that I mean he laughs the hardest when he sees me. Then I should be popular, because I have such a dominating effect on him. I think I'm invited to his birthday party later, but I have not gotten an invitation. I think that is because he knows how popular I am, and he needs to get permission to enter my house.
That happens in school too. Nobody goes near me.
Well I'm sorry everyone, I have to go prepare for the party. I will be getting him a science book about lesbian cows.
Goodbye all!
Bite Back
Monday, September 21, 2009
9:54 PM
Today is one of those days where I happen to remember all the shit that happened to me,
and though I appreciate the good things i have despite that, I still feel that overwhelming sense of bitterness coursing through my body.
And mother, enough, is fucking enough.
For the millionth fuckin time, NO IM NOT CUTTING MY DAMN HAIR.
Kay so my relatives were in a way pressurizing me to cut my hair.
Imagine fuckin aunties all around you telling you how your long hair looks like a
mop, and my mum thinks those are FRIENDLY ADVICES.
Well fuck you, it's my HAIR, and NOT YOURS.
So basically, let me state this out for you, I can do whatever the fuck I like
with my hair and you can't do shit. Oh what's that, you want to send me
to the boy's hostel cause apparently I'm getting out of hand by
FLYING OFF THE HANDLE, and doing something I LIKE.
Kay first of all bitch, I haven't been given that opportunity for ages.
Everytime I try to do something unconservative, you disapprove, and I had no
choice but to comply. Oh and if you haven't already noticed, it's my FUCKIN LIFE,
and not yours either, so don't act like you own any.
If you ever snoop around my blog, yes I'm here to suck your money dry, and then
I'm moving somewhere far away, where I'm free from your shit. OMFG BEN YOU'RE SO IMMATURE AND SHALLOW SPAZZZZZ.
There's a limit for everything. There's only so much shit I can take before I fuckin snap.
And there isnt anything I can do cause my mum thinks she's right and I'm too immature to be right.
Too long have I been pelted at with shit. It's time to bite back.
Motherfucker.
ps Mum, I really hate you, from the bottom of my heart. Now and forever.
Virginity Cancer
1:55 AM
Hay guys, like my title?
I thought of it myself.
JUST PLAYIN.
But here's my analogy:
A virginity will inevitably die.
Like this:
-I'm sorry Osama, you have brain cancer, mainly cause your fuckin turban suffocated your skull, goddammit.
RANDOMMM
Kay back to the point. &edit. I realise it dosent make sense at all. fuck this.
But whether you like it or not, everyone's virginities are dying off, or some sort.
Everytime you wank or watch a porno, it inches towards death.
And when you finally pop the question..
NO NOT THE MARRIAGE SHIT.
>>"would you like to has sex?"
IT DIES.
Notice the process is gradual, just like cancer. YAY omg i got it to make sense imma motherfuckin genius GAHAHAHA. kidding.
Oh yeah, if you guys havent already noticed, I blog whatever that comes to my mind, that explains why my posts are so random.
I don't like blogging about pre-planned stuff. it's so BORING.
Being spontaneous adds a fuckload of fun to any typical conversation.
"Nice day isnt it?"
"yes, omg did you know that I have fingers?"
*Starts spazzing.
I need to find someone to run the streets with. It's good exercise, and I needa find someone quick, cause I'm getting hella fat.
I'm pisssed with my mum. Apparently, having bitching hair is disturbing, and shes making it so fucking obvious that she dosent like it. Well fuck her, that's EXACTLY why I'm leaving my hair to grow. Just kidding, I was gonna do it regardless.
Right so, I've lost my inspiration to blog cause I'm kinda sleepy, and I don't wanna accidentally blog about how i wanked over lesbian porn.
Oh fuck did I just type that? OH NOEZ.
kthxbai<3>
A green orange
Sunday, September 20, 2009
1:53 AM
Hay guys, I think some people don't make sense, like my title.
Whoa, that was a one sentence topic.
Anyway, does it bother you, that some people don't appreciate things that you do.
Like, when you're trying to help out in a relationship problem, like you always have.
Just that this time, you mess up a TINY bit, and then she goes running to her boyfriend
complaining. Oh and btw, she used to be your EPIC close friend.
Bonerkill much? I hope she dies ugly.
Nah I'm kidding, let's solve this maturely shall we?
OMGFUCKYOUBITCH!
WHOOOOOOA, that FELT so fuckin GOOD.
Kidding again! Shit, I never take a crisis seriously.
"Okay class we have to leave the building, cause it's on fire"
"But Miss Johnson, I'm not done WANKING!"
See how messed up I am?
I wanna be a radio DJ, so I can diss every fuckin person I hate and then claim
that they're just analogies.
Good gollee Bennie you're sucha meanie.
I really wanna migrate, to America preferably.
Cause here, I'll have to worry that the TOY handcuffs I ordered for my pair of jeans will be
INTERCEPTED by security. I hope you handcuff a terrorist with those babies.
Then they'll fuckin escape and bite your balls off, and blow up an airport.
WAITWAIT, that's not gonna work, I can't fly to America then.
Ben, I DEMAND that you recite the pledge.
Okay,
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
Comprende, cabron?
Fuck Singapore
Ooooh, anybody wanna get on STOMP with me?
If you don't know what that is, it's a portal for freakishly childish adults to submit privacy-intruding pictures of people and then pointing fingers at them without proof at all.
Either that, or they're just hella petty.
So yeah, I think I'll do something stupid and swear at an aunty perhaps?
IM WORKING ON IT!
Hop on the bandwagon
Saturday, September 19, 2009
10:56 AM
Singapore is a hypocrite.
First the government tells us not to give a shit when Malaysia attempted to
salvage their fading glory[if they ever had any].
Now they're trying to be defensive by stubbornly holding on to their patents. This right after
telling us that it dosen't fucking matter. Wow man, what else can I say about my fabulous country.
Suck on my balls, shitheads.
That Malaysian Tourism Minister reminds me of an obnoxious, obese aunty who always
demands for her ways. Fuckin bitch. Personally, I couldnt care less where these food belong to,
I eat em if it's nice. God, fuckin kids.
Well, anyway, I don't usually blog about mindless political games but I'm kinda pissed off now, mainly cause GTA keeps crashing on my fuckin com. I really hate Vista. ):
EMO/SCENE CLEANUP-Nathan Owens
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
1:20 AM
Hay guys.
People've been calling me emo, cause of my hair and tight pants.
Just throwing it out; emo is a state of mind, not a dress style.
Nuff said.
I don't like being in this scenario, where someone refuses me something,
but dosent give a logical explanation, so it's frustrating, cause you have
no fuckin clue why they're not giving you what you want?
I'm scared. No really, I wince at the thought of having to repeat some riduculously insane modules next semester. Freeaaaaaky.
I havent done a decent post in like, days, and I apologise, I'm trying hard to find my inspiration to type something lenghty, but until then, ciao! <3
Restricted
Friday, September 11, 2009
9:06 PM
Motherfuggah, I can't pierce.
I'm sorry mum, I will be a conservative buttfuckin puto from now.
FUCK.
FUCK.
FUCK.
FUUUUCK.
So anyways, that aside, I'm finally getting myself occupied, with porn...
I'm just kidding; well there's TriFactor coming up on Sunday, and camp meeting a couple of days later.
necesito a consiga una vida I needa get a life.
I think that's the only Spanish sentence I know how to say, other than swearing and counting to ten. Omg i love other languages, as well as to speak English in an American accent.
One of my pet peeves in Singapore is the fact that smelly Singaporeans speak with that retarded Singlish accent, so even though there isn't any mistake in their grammar it still sucks cow nipples.
No offence to my wonderful friends who have that accent, i still love you guys <3
I hate being used too. Some friends come to me for help, but when they're all fuckin happy, I get thrown aside. Motherfuckers, I'm gonna sieve my friends. I really dont need pricks in my life. If you fit the bill, you don't like me and I sure as fuck dislike you too. So really, disappear.
On a brighter note, i'm really looking forward to the stuff ahead.
Ooh, I'm the Amazing Race IC, so I'm gonna make them binge and then jump til their appendicitis(es) burst. BWAHAHAHAHA.
Change v0.1
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
12:06 AM
If humans were computers I'd have a permanent virus.
Attempts to change us would be the huge stack of antivirus wares.
Parents would be the customers.
Authorities would be the obnoxious salesmen claiming that those wares
would do wonders to your defunct computer.
But if the virus had already done damage to the computer, no anti-virus software would
be able to help.
But just WHO is the bad guy? The virus? The software? OR the motherfuckin salesmen who
manipulate minds in a bid to CONVINCE you, that these methods work.
That's why you see the principal, talking about morals, that's why you see posters and hear shit on the radio; higher power trying to sell their useless ideas of good morals and discipline.
Question is, does it really work? Are their children saints? Do they even teach parents the right way to use the software?
Even if they do, the damage's done. you NEED a REBOOT, not a fuckin software.
In other words, think about salvaging the situation instead of trying to force down more discipline. See that's the problem with CHANGE. Some people are just too fanatical about it.
PARENTS, especially, they don't realise the root of the problem. If I were to steal, then find out WHY i'm stealing, instead of shallow threats like the CUTTING of allowance.
I don't even know If I'm making sense cause I having a mental block. SO MUCH FOR INSPIRATION. HAHA ):
*EDIT: For the millionth time, i dislike people who tells me to change for their selfish gains.
Parents, mostly for their 'face'.
Society, so you can fit in.
I mean, it's bad enough that you harbour such sick thoughts. But don't fuckin pressurize me to change. There's no me without me, you know, I am who i AM, not who you ASKforce me to be.
Why cant everyone accept the fact that everyone's different, so the world would be more colorful.
If you're living in a cage, please break free.
libérese e ir volando Break free and fly away.
Okay seriously.. change..
hmm..
It's definitely not something I'll do for the world.
Like if you're changing a flaw, it's okay.
But if you want me to change to PLEASE you,
bitch PLEASE .___. Random, cause both have the word please in them. =/
I find it funny when desperate guys always ask this retarded question
"TELL ME WHATS WRONG, ILL CHANGE FOR YOU I PROMISE"
Puto, consiga una vida
If you could you'd have done it ages ago.
ha terminado, da para arriba, give the fuck up.
I hope the translator's working.
HAHA I WANNA LEARN LANGUAGES I SWEAR.
Questions
Monday, September 7, 2009
11:03 PM
Hay all!
Just a shame, that there isn't much to be happy about these days.
I mean there IS, but scarcely, other than the fact that I have beautiful friends.
But really, there's nothing much to say.
I spend my holidays thinking alot.
Why can't people be more reasonable.
Life's a battlefield, and it starts at home.
Compromise.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
10:58 PM
You heard it right, compromise.
Has everyone forgotten the word even existed?
AND AGAIN it's because I'm supposedly REQUIRED
to get myself a nice haircut,
nice being everything that pleases them.
Time and again, Mum and Dad, you guys never fail
to disappoint me. You always say that I'm immature, that whatever y'all do
will BENEFIT me in the long run, and apparently, I'll thank you for it?
You don't even know me. You scoff at my dreams, my plans, EVERYTHING.
And now you wanna replace my broken dreams with your own twisted ones?
The Bible teaches kids to honor their parents, but WHY ISNT IT THE OTHER WAY ROUND.
It gives parents the "back-up" they need to do as they please. cause "whatever it is we're your PARENTS."
I'm through with you. Eat my shit.
MY CRUSH requested by CHERYL KANG
1:34 AM
HAY GUYS.
Today, I'm going to talk about a really weird topic, mainly cause
it's paradoxical, but I SHANT tell you why.
What can I say about crushes. No matter who your crush is, they're always seen as
gorgeous, even though sometimes reality seems to suggest otherwise. whoops.
Of course, that isnt the case for me!
I don't get why people treat their crushes well for their own selfish agendas.
Like the moment they get rejected, they'll probably not talk to their crushes anymore,
and even if they DO, it's to tell them how fucking emoshit they are.
Like THIS:
Hey, you know, that really hurt alot, I can't bear the pain, so I'm slitting my arms, and my feet, and while I'm at that I'll cut an apple for myself.
Redundancy much?
liking someone is like giving an apple to her, if she gives it back, eat it or throw it away, don't keep holding it in your hand. In other words, if you're rejected, get a fucking life and move on, cause if you dont let go, the apple will rot in your hands.
I believe that if you like someone, you should care for that person unconditionally, with no strings attached.sometimes it DOES get a lil uncomfortable but it's worth it.
My gf crush is like a reflection of myself. I think its really rare to find people that think like you do.
Especially for someone like ME, having supposedly weird ideas about life and all.
Oh and did I mention, I like good listeners. Cause every once in awhile, shit happens, and I don't wanna bottle my problems up, not that I wanna get sympathy hugs or anything, I just feel that sharing it with someone's gonna do me more good. amd besides, people who bottle their problems tell it to their special someone anyway>.>. That said, I have BUSY days ahead. I have a really nice person to be there for, like I always have been.
Teehee!
Aftermath
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
11:57 AM
I'm crushed, but the mere fact that I can't join DMC til next year.
All this time, my lecturers, people at SAC have been giving me hope,
that I'll be able to make a transfer next sem.
So now I hafta come to terms with it and mug for modules I DONT ENJOY.
I wonder what kinda disaster will I be spared from with the delayed transfer,
like, is CASS gonna BURN to the ground or something? Is that it?
I hope next sem's gonna be alright. Looks like I've trusted the wrong system.
Like a stupid child, I've walked right into a trap that never ceased to close in on me.
But I guess it's mostly my fault cause I fucked up and made one of the worst choices
I could ever make.
Half of me feels that it isnt that bad cause I got to make some cool friends.
The other half just wants to tear myself apart. Day in day out, all I'm hearing is words I can't comprehend, instructions I can't follow, no matter how fucking hard I try.
Now it's stuck like an obsessed spouse; I wanna break free, tell her to get the hell away, but I
can't, she just won't let go of me.
Fucking bummed,
these days ain't so happy anymore.
God help me
Fail
11:53 AM
Got this in the morning.
"Unfortunately, the DMC course does not have a second intake for this coming semester. Course transfers to DMC is done at the start of every new acad year and we accept transfer students the same way as O level students... i.e. based on O level results.
If you really want to take the DMC course, I'd offer the same advice... stay in your DMIT course (otherwise you'll be enlisted for NS), do as well as you can in your current course, and pass all your modules, including GEMS. This way, if you're accepted into the DMC course, you can apply for exemptions from certain modules (eg. ONOW, IDEA, GEM)."
WHAT.THE.FUCK.
Ten Seconds of Fame.. or like, 9.45324
2:51 AM
HAY GUYS.
It's coming on 3 in the morning. And I have NOTHING to blog about.
Damn, I really need those red bull things.
Wanna know why my title is as such? Cause that's how long its gonna take for you to read this post, sucka.
Proper update tmr. =)