Cut a boner in half, now I have 2! OMG
Saturday, October 31, 2009
11:08 PM
Hay guys!
You're probably reading this only because you thought I DID cut my penis in half.
Faggots. ):
Anyway, I know I haven't posted in ages, so I'm sorry.
But if you know me well enough to get a weeee lil sneak peek at my schedule,
you'll be mildly to severely disgusted, depending on how much you love porn reading books.
Honestly, most people aren't as well-read as they'd want you to think.
When people tell you that they're reading a book, ask them what chapter he or she is at,
then ask the same question an hour later. No fucking difference!
I know, cause I'm guilty as charged.
Like I could be reading this thick ass storybook; it's fucking good, and I'm actually thrilled!
Okay, bookworm moment! Anyway, all of a sudden, I'd be.. I'd be on Facebook.
Here's a heads up for everyone who reads: don't turn your fuckin laptop on while reading, Facebook destroys vibes I swear. I didn't even feel like reading after that.
Still, it could be my messed up brain.
Moving on, remember my post about homo fagguses? My friend and I had the privilege of
observing a live specimen right here, in smelly Singapore, in my fuckin class.
And no, I can't really reveal her blog, because, I don't want the whole world to have their eyes on her; cause it's awfully dangerous, her stupidity might kill you. But I can give you a peek,
here's an exerpt from her blog. Sidenote: God it's fuckin hard to get a sentence with no names on it cause all she blabbers about is how she went out with the same 10 people.
Here it is:
Just reached home not long :D ! friday♥woke up around 7am+not really feel like going school ! head was dizzy ! so sleeeep back ._. ! woke up around 11am PLUSthen my stupid block dunno the lift upgrading or wht shyt ! NO WATER SUPPLY till5pm x.x ! wtf ! so woke up use desktop ! dota 1 round ! then its around 3+ ! finally water supply is back :D !
There, see how fucking stupid it looks?
Just typical isnt it? To BLOW up something so minor such as the lack of water. It's not like
she needed it anyway; she was playing DOTA. ._____.
*Hafizah, reminds you of someone? A certain someone who blows things up. THe funny thing is that, these bitches BLOW everything, except a dick. No man would want his snickers bar in their smelly mouths.
Oh and, I think her keyboard dosen't have the period button, cause all she uses is the exclamation mark. Like this!
Excuse me, are you trying to liven your post cause guess what, it AINT WORKING.
Lastly, I know I may seem overly critical of her, and other similiar people. But trust me, if you were to study her, you'll feel the same. Speaking of studying, if she were a book, all you'll ever read are like, 500 pages of Audi.
Oh, and if you're this bitch I'm talking about. Go ahead, flame me on my tagbox. I'm sure all my awesome readers would want to know who the fuck you are.
So, question of the day: Do you have homo fagguses in your class or workplace? Are they just as annoying? Leave me a tag!
kthxbai<3
BREAK
Friday, October 30, 2009
11:48 PM
Hey guys. sorry, my interwebz was bitchin and I just managed to get online.
Update tmr :D
Bleed me a fucking river.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
5:47 PM
Hay guys!
So today, I was doing some exercise to shed a fraction of my massive fats.
Long story short, a dumbbell fell on my fucking head. And I'm having some mild,
on and off headaches.
My mother was telling me how it could be a blood clot on my head that's waiting to give
me a wonderful dose of paralysis, coma, or even death.
Meet my mother, a 47 year old paranoid freak that cares only for her own social reputation[if she even had one] and she expects me to act like some cultured cosmopolitan-y mommy's boy.
Screw you mum. I really don't wanna talk about this because the only person who can piss me off at the moment, other than stupid gangster wannabes and squarish adults, is my fucking mother.
When God didn't allow me to hit you, it ISNT an implication to push your fucking luck.
So don't try to act all Serious Sally on me and spit pseudo-concerned lectures to my face.
To think that I even wanted to try to like you abit better this morning. Fuck you.
But you know, lesson learnt.
Anywaaaaay, I really dislike my Math lecturer. By now, you guys should know that I have a huge problem against adults. Too much KND[Kids Next Door]? :D
So this prick, uses a profound way of teaching secondary school math, which is annoying. Cause I'm already having problems bothering myself to give a shit about math, and he's all the reason I need to be completely nonchalant about it.
And you can just imagine this hella nerd nagging at us, saying that if we don't pay attention in class we'll be lost as fuck. Well that's funny cause that's exactly the reason why we're NOT paying attention. Math + boring old git = S.L.E.E.P! Maybe a few cuss words?
There's arent many good, bloggable issues to hog, so I'm gonna have to think of something.
Singapore's that boring! If you're living in America, or Europe or something, if there's a murder, people who reads that in the papers would be like, "Oh the usual, let's hope he dosen't fuck with our neighbourhood then.". OVER HERE, if there's a murder, people would be like, "WALAO EH GOT KEELER ON THE LOOSE LEH, WE SEE WHAT THE GAHMEN DOES!"[translated:]" Holy shit, a murderer on the loose, let's see what the government does." and NO, I don't regret making fun of "my own people", persay.
Singlish is deliciously fun to insult. So much for being unique. Well yeah I'm sure that
epic shamelessness makes Singapore wonderfully unique too?
If anyone's reading..
well I'm gonna start something new.
Got the idea from shanedawsonTV @ youtube. check him out!
I'll ask you a question, or suggest soemthing for you to blog, and you can do the same!
So, question of the day: What do you think of Twilight and Stephanie Meyer?
And, if you want, you can do a post about that.
So leave me a tag?
kthxbai<3
Umm, Fuck You? I mean, sorry
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
11:33 PM
Hay guys, so I know I haven't done a proper post in days.
And I'm really sorry for the delay, but it's just that I have nothing in mind to blog about.
Lessons are bitchin, so idk if I can actually blog during my lessons? But school ends at 12,
so there's a pretty good chance that I'll be posting tmr.
Thanks for all the support and stuff.
kthxbai<3
Fucken Ben's PSA
8:15 AM
Hay guys.
I know my posts are always controversial, and they always
flame Singaporeans, especially the aunties etc.
But , I need them, for without them,
WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA BLOG ABOUT?! :D
kthxbai<3
Too Much Hormones = Angry Sex
Sunday, October 25, 2009
11:00 PM
I want to punch all obnoxious aunties and conservative adults who
hyprocritically attempt to moderate the age where teenagers learn about sex.
Fuck you!
I hate setting "GOOD EXAMPLES" cause they're the products of stereotyping.
I'm not gonna follow your stupid rules because you TELL me to. Life's a big stereotype itself.
He's a good guy because he dosen't cuss.
He's a good guy cause his hair is short.
He's a good guy cause he dosen't know what a vagina looks like.
He's a good guy cause he dosen't talk about sex.
He's a good guy cause he's neat and tidy.
Well, my hair is fucking long and messy, cunt face.
Oh wait, in one sentence, i broke all 5 stereotypes, so I'm like public enemy number 1!
CHECK!
My Tale to Tell
Friday, October 23, 2009
10:45 PM
People have been asking, well either that, or it's probably in your minds.
How do I deal with love, you know, that powerful L word, that will either make,
or break a person.
Do I get lovesick?
Do I you know, fall head over heels for a girl?
I don't know what kinda impression you have of me, mostly bad perhaps.
I know that cause I scare off some of my Christian friends. Oops?
Mainly cause I'm controversial and all.
Maybe I'm not your average 17 year old guy.
Not the let's-club-and-get-high person.
I don't go to town much, therefore I'm pretty much your country bumpkin.
But no matter how much a misfit I am to the world, I'm not exempted from love.
That's right, I fall deep in love sometimes. The usual stuff,
fall in love, get over her, fall in love again, ge- yeah.
I'll be honest, it's easy for me to get over girls. I can
like, *snap*, just like that, and I'm through.
Maybe not that quick, couple of days maybe?
But, I don't even know if I'm really that fortunate to have this nonchalance,
or am I in denial.
And I know how I've mentioned before that I hate it when people keep blogging about
how sad they are and stuff. It's not that they shouldn't blog about it at all, just, don't overdo it.
Cause for the first time in like, months, I've actually felt the sharp sting when love bites.
To be honest, I'm really, really afraid, cause I don't wanna be the horrible guy that I've been.
Old characteristics are like periodical zombies; just when you think you've buried them,
they come back to haunt you sometimes, and when they do, you're so afraid, that they might devour you and take over your soul. You remember the joy when your shovel struck the hard ground, you felt so victorious, like the old, cursed chapter of your life had been permanently
sealed, and a new one was about to begin. You try to reach for that feeling, but fear seizes you. That's how I'm feeling now.
I've never had any self-confidence to begin with. Coupled with this, my life is just about over.
Therefore, I never want to see my personal zombies ever again.
What is/are your personal zombies then?
Anyway, yes, love, you can run away from everything else,
but that. I've hurt someone and I feel shitty about it.
It's about time I took up arms to fight my zombies off.
Maybe you should too.
FACTFILE
9:03 PM
Okay faggots:
I'm ugly.
My voice sounds like dick.
I'm sensitive
I'm insecure
I'm impatient
I'm a horrible, horrible person.
I make a really bad boyfriend.
SO FUCKING GET OVER IT!
Emo Songz, literally.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
10:44 PM
Hay guys!
Emoooooooo songs!
The general idea is that you stop moping around in self-pity.
So some people will tell you to listen to emo songs.
Usually, the description being something like..
"Song for broken hearts."
or something like that. And then it's some sad song.
If you ever posted things like that, then you suck balls! 8===D
WHY? Cause if someone's sad, he or she needs to cheer up. You know,
eat some ice cream, watch porn, have sex, eat more ice cream, wat-... you get
what I mean.
WHY the fuck would that person want to listen to another sad song and feel sad all
over again?
So yeah, I just felt that it was a TAD inappropriate.
AND I NEED A JOB. Fuck me, I can't emphasize enough how fucking broke I am.
So like, if you guys have a job to recommend, please, please cum on my face leave a tag? I'll soooo appreciate it <3
Oh and today, I've gotten another stereotype. Sheesh, but they're kinda entertaining. Shows how retarded Singapore is :D
Anyways, I told a friend of mine that I'll be wearing skinnies on Friday.
Then she was like, are you fuckin gangster wannabe?
Right there, I added another reason to the list, why I hate them, aka BENGS.
THANKS to them, we can't like things that they like. Such as, sex, techno, skinnies, alcohol, etc.
Obviously, you don't go around liking their stupid habits like swearing in hokkien, or smoking, or picking up fights, OH and my favourite: stupid tattoos. Anyways, I like skinnies and American techno. I like sex reading books. okay random fact.
That sucks. I mean, you can't judge a book by it's cover. But whatever, I can't be fucked to entertain squares. If you think I'm some poser then go ahead. I can also think that you're a fuckin Nazi, you like telling people that you have to be this tall to suck your dick.
But yeah, usually, guys from ITE are bengs so you know, it's hard not to judge people from there. No offence.
Anyways I gotta go to bed now. I have lessons at fuckin 8AM ):
And I need my beauty sleeeep! D:
CYA<3
Iced You Whore.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
9:54 PM
Hay guys!
I honestly have no idea what to blog about today.
It was the usual, me being an asshole in class, making fun of people,
trying to hit on girls. ):
Anyway, I really don't get some people. They think swearing in hokkien is fuckin cool.
Wtshit? FUCK is sucha beautiful word, but they're degrading themselves by using redneck language? Seriously, okay all my fuckin caucasian friends, does "cheebai" sound appealing to you? I bet not. Sounds like some China auntie bargaining with the fishmonger. .______.
Okay I have no idea what I'm saying, but really, why use shitty words when there's one staring at you in the face. Or maybe it's just me: FUCK YOU.
Oh noes, I'm bad influence, I taught my friend how to swear. Good golly wonkers Momma I'm real sorreh!
Oh kids, I've got a nice lesson for you.
Today, we're comparing 2 types of girls: the cool rebels, and the fuckin gangster wannabes.
Breaking them up into compartments, we'll pit one against the other and.. you'll see.
[SMOKING]
Rebels: Too fucking cool to kill themselves.
Posers: Pays moolah for lung cancer. They don't just do it, they fucking run to the shop!
[SEX]
Rebels: With their boyfriends, sometimes.
Posers: With everyone.
[STUDIES]
Rebels: Some study, some don't, but they all have their lives planned out.
Posers: "Last weekend, I spent my days playing audi with my friends...."(class joke)
[SELF-PITY]
Rebels: Get over it within a few days. Fuck sadness.
Posers: Cut their wrists and survive to blog about it. phew!
[SUCKUP?]
Rebels: Ask them that and they'll crush your face.
Posers: Ask them that and they'll suck up to you.
[SICKNESS]
Rebels: Healthy motherfuckers.
Posers: Anorexia, Bullimia.. AIDS, Crabbs etc.
As you can see, the S experiment shows that posers are nothing more than whores.
I prefer posers, cause they'll fuck you for free. But then I'll get crabbs. NAH im just playin.
SO.. WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON BITCH?
I'll blog again when I have a topic. jesus.
Rocket Chick + Pantyhose
Monday, October 19, 2009
11:06 PM
Hay guys
I think my post has nothing to do with the title.
how embarrassing, I resort to cheap advertisement gimmicks. FUCK.
Anyway, have you tried, at night, to look out of the window after a refreshing shower?
Let the night breeze caress your skin and blow your problems away.
I fucking swear, I felt as if the impurities in my life have been washed away,
and during that moment, I experienced the deepest form of happiness and inner serenity.
Fuck that was beautiful. I'm hook'd on night breezes.
Idk, my life's pretty fucked. I'm born with shit I don't like, its like a fucking cage that can never be removed. I know I'm just being negative, and I'll sleep it off. But it's really really tired trying to be positive everytime without being so god damn exhausted. I know it's wrong to question God for my "predictament", but sometimes I still cave in. Why the fuck am I so nasty-looking and redundant. FUCKFUCKFUCKKKKK -.-
_________________________________________________
Nuff about all the unhappy stuff. Today's like my first day of school!
It was kinda okay, but way to start the fucking morning, with a huge stack
of math notes. MATHEFUCKINMATICS. omg):
That was depressing. But my day got better and yeah.
But I swear, I'm not gonna blog about my everyday life, it's boring as fuck.
Instead, I planned to blog about something I read in the news but fuckin forgot.
Oh wait I remember!
It's about unhappy food outlet bosses who plan to sue people who blog negatively about their food.
What the shit? It's my favourite lousy statement of all time.
I mean, if someone blogs negatively about your fucking food, especially through his blog, it obviously means he dosen't like your damn food. Unless you stole his wife or something, but you get my point. SO instead of wasting your fuckin money suing his pants off, why don't you do something about your food to make it better?
It's like, if you have a girlfriend and if she dosent like your attitude for example, are you gonna go to her parents house and fuck them up for giving birth to her? Might as well bite your fucking pride and reflect. HAHA damn I sound like some adult. But it's kinda true, unless you know she's being the whore then you can make that trip to her parents' home. :D
Anyways, I can't find anything else to rant about? I talk way too much in school, so I can't find anything to blog about. Oh speaking of blogging, I like doing that ALOT cause to be honest, I hardly have any friends, that's why blogger is my best friend! I like to hide behind my screen and stalk little girls interact with people.
Oh and I have no clue how many people actually DO read my blog, sometimes I get the feeling I'm talking to the fuckin wall.
But I guess that's what a blog is for, RANTRANTRANT NIGGA!
Last Day to Bang a Whore
Sunday, October 18, 2009
10:49 PM
Hay guys, for all those who don't know,
today's the last day of my holidays at HOME.
Tomorrow marks the first day of holidays in SCHOOL.
I'll be going to class learning shit I don't like,
talking to lecturers I don't care,
learning stuff I don't need,
yay me!
But there's java and HTML, so it'll be useful for my blog.
STOP LAUGHING NINA. ):
Anyways, I'm sorta glad the holidays are coming to an end.
Now I can make fun of some people on a daily basis,
and I also get to check out more chicks.
Fuck, I'm going to school for all the wrong reasons.
Oh but the huge turn-off is that I hafta see some undesirable people in school.
I think I'm cursed to meet a fucking whore in every single one of my class. )))))))):
And I apologise for the short sentences, today hasnt exactly been, very pleasant.
Then again, everyday with my parents is frgn ANNOYING.
Which is one of the reasons why I look forward to school. My parents are like, fucking squares, and I'll spare you the details cause, believe you me, you don't wanna know.
On a lighter note, I CANT WAIT FOR FRENCH. I hope some cute american-asian girls would join my class. But a CERTAIN BRITISH-CHINESE girl went to fucking psychology. ):
No offence to people who take psychology, but I don't think that lessons gonna help people learn the art of it. It's more of, learning through experience. Over the years, get friends to confide in you, then you'll get better in understanding people's mindsets and hence be able to give better advice. Just saying.
So like, what have you guys been doing over the holidays? Cause I know mine's been pretty unprodictive. I generally laze around. tsk, was there even a holiday? I acted exactly how i would have acted at home, after school. STONE! the universal sign of apathy :D
NEENAH'S $.PEE.OH.TEE
Saturday, October 17, 2009
1:19 AM
Hello, today I'll tell you how holy I am.
So I was walking down the street one bright and sunny morning,
when the fucking sparrows are making love in their fuzzy nests,
when the little fat dick drops his ice cream and screams at his maid
to get him another one.
Out of all that bliss, a nice guy came up to me and started evangelising to me
before I could even say that I already AM a christian.
Being the ever so polite goody two shoes, I smiled and listened..
and listened..
And I realised that all I'd been hearing was him trying to tell me to do this and that.
I nearly LMAO-ed when he showed me this article about 7DA[7 day adventists] living
til a ripe old age of like, 100+?
WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE MISTUHHH.
but dont the good die young?
8=====D
fuckin loser. I wanted to slap him so hard, but if I did, I'd be another 7DA, living til a 100.
Anyway,
I like fellowship with my homies in Christ.
Especially when they try to MAKE me clean my closet.
Teary eyed, I'll tell them how I foolishly threw my chapatti[indian crackers] bag onto the floor after eating them,
and how I repented by crushing the bits after that so as to provide labour for the sweepers.
One thing redneck about me is that I dislike it when cleaners come to work in a clean environment. In other words, they COME WITH NO JOB TO DO.
God dammit, I'll have to throw jizzed tissues out of the fucking window!
Okay maybe I was just bullshitting. I'll always be a private person religiously, for all you religious freaks out there; I love God, and that's enough to get me through life.
NO MORE stupid preaching, NO MORE pseudo-disappointed sighs, and please don't pray for me, who knows what fucked up ideas you have for me.
Oh, please pray that one day, Ben will see the light a grow up.
Dear God please straighen Ben up he's sucha stud.
Father please make him more sensible, I hope your punishment wont be too harsh.
FUCK YOU!
Hahah I'm not mad really, but is there anyone else who has the same feelings as I do? ):
Asphyxiated
Friday, October 16, 2009
1:05 AM
Wanna hear something really boring?
TODAY, I woke up at 8AM.
YOU KNOW WHY, cause I slept at 6PM yesterday.
YOU KNOW WHY, cause i didn't sleep during camp.
YOU KNOW WHY, cause I was bored.
SO, I brushed my damn teeth at 8.30AM.
YOU KNOW WHY, cause I was using the laptop for 30 minutes.
YOU KNOW WHY, cause i woke up at 8AM,
SO 8AM + 30 Minutes = 8.30! GENIUS.
THEN I HAD MY BREAKFAST AT 9AM.
YOU KNOW WHY, cause I showered at 8.30AM
YOU KNOW WHY, cause I was using the laptop at 8AM
SO, 8AM + 30minutes + 30minues = 9AM! GENIUS.
Fuck that was terrible, like a Twilight book.
Just save it, no one wants to know about your everyday life unless it has something
juicy.
And I wonder why people're like,
OMG MY BLOG'S DEAD.
ANYWAY I WOKE UP AT 8AM...
Godddddd...
I'm just kidding, people have the right to blog whatever they want, but
just saying, I find it really boring, unless you have a way of spicing it up.
holy shit I'm having a headache, blog tmr, got porn to watch. kthxbai!
I eat my legs for dinner.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
10:18 AM
Hay guys!
For some time, I've been considering if I should
get a private blog to host my emo posts.
But I eventually decided against it cause I feel that I should be open about
however the fuck I'm feeling. So that you guys won't think I'm perpetually happy.
I don't do drugs.
I do girls.
HAHA kidding.
not.
Anyway yeah that's about it, rant laterz
<3
Out with the New
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
5:54 PM
Hay guys I apologize for that fuckin emo post.
Anyway, I was typing that half-asleep, so I think it's an accurate reflection of my feelings.
I get jealous easily, hence I'm an extremely horrible guy.
I'm going to get some well-deserved sleep now.
I like talking to people who're sensibly* rebellious. Teehee, Neenaa, LA.
Fuck me that rhymes!
kthxbai!
Unshackle Me Please.
10:50 AM
Confusion at its fullest.
I'm walking a road that knows no end,
and it's so dark that I trip at the bend.
Wallow in self-pity I will,
looking at cold hard eyes to kill.
Disorientated and weary I fall,
off the cliff of life that stands so tall.
To be seen but not remembered..
To see your heart dismembered..
To love but not to tear is a tall task indeed.
I'm not emo, twin(:
Flesh to Ashes
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
1:49 AM
Hay guys, I'm like, writing on a bad stomachache,
yay me.
The entire committee's up planning for camp later on in the morning.
See how fuckin boring that sounds when I blog about my everyday life?
Imagine doing that on a daily basis; I'll frgn lose all my readers, that is if I
even had any in the first place.
And for some weird reason I keep thinking that the door to the clubroom's opening.
Like whoa, freakaayyyy.
What should I blog about today? Sex, fags, racism? Been there blogged that.
In my eyes, there's nothing controversial in this world. Taboo is nothing but a cowardly
excuse to bury dark secrets for fear of the overcritical world. Makes sense no?
Some prick must have probably banged like, 10 people, including his wife, and had no balls to admit it, so he was like, "Oh honey I don't think sex is a very good topic to discuss."
and voila, TABOO!
._____. I have no fuckin idea what that was about.
Moving on, I just realised that I have no talent at all. Some people are good at music, some can sing, some can dance, some can make people laugh. Me, I just rot at home doing nothing at all, not because I'm like fuckin lazy, but because I have no talent whatsoever. I'm too lazy to procrastinate. That sounded oxymoronic. Speaking of all things oxymoron, here's a classic statement; I'm good at nothing but if that means I'm good at something does it then mean I'm bad at nothing if nothing was something? .______. that DEFINITELY didnt make sense. pssssh.
That's depressing, I'm not even good at being redundant. At lease no one can call me ego.
Not that I care. But it's kinda stupid isnt it, like when you earn your bragging rights, people say you're inflating your ego, but when you're not saying anything people say you're emoshit. Like what the fuck? That's society to your face bitch. Actually, no matter what you guys say, I'll always be an outcast of this world. It gets lonely, but I'd rather be original than to follow others on the high road to hell. And that isnt even the religious hell. It's the physical hell of your mind and it's real. It's when you're trapped within yourself, unable to enjoy the freedom of being yourself, isnt that scary?
It's fuckin real..
Interlude Part 2/Afterlife - DeniseKang
Monday, October 12, 2009
2:15 AM
So HAY guys,
I'm so so fuckin sorry I haven't been blogging.
I have been busy and more often just plain lazy.
So anyways, before returning to my routine posts, I just have a few issues to clear up.
Firstly, I just wanna say that I appreciate Annette's way of telling me not to swear so much.
Cause she's not trying to force me to stop swearing like, "Fuck if you keep swearing you'll go to hell." So thanks.
But I just wanna put this here: I know you're uncomfortable with me swearing but that's just how I am. Perhaps I'm rebellious, whenever there's a stereotype/taboo/system, I'm obliged to go against it. Maybe I'm just retarded, I don't fuckin know. But I really enjoy the person I am now, even if im missing a few screws, but at least I'm not one to fit into society and all.
Okay, I think I've emphasized that a million times.
ANYWAYS, yeah you get my point.
Moving ON, which really, there isn't cause apparently, it's fuckin 2.21am and I had a sudden urge to blog, but that URGE is GONE. Like when you have the urge to take a piss and everything flows out for like 10 seconds, after which it stops. I'm there, drained and positively bored as fuck.
Afterlife:
One of the few things that fascinate me, apart from girls, money, and well, more girls.
How would you imagine yourself kicking the good ol bucket? Could it be sacrificing your life for a loved one, like all emo kids think of? No? How about choking to death on your own dump? Realise its like smoking, just that instead of shit it's nicotine. So yeah, if you smoke, not only does it mean that you're paying for your lung cancer, but you're dying in the shittiest way ever, literally.
Oh yeah and I don't believe in reincarnation.
Imagine if God says: Daaaayum I'm not making you human again, How about the pubes growing out of your Son's.
You'll be watching him jerk off every single fuckin time.
AND GUESS WHAT, this has nothing to do with the afterlife. Oh wait it does, remotely.
The corniest death comes when you see your crush in the path of a speeding vehicle and you push her away to get knocked down yourself and ends up dying. Don't lie, I swear, EVERYONE has imagined that scene before: your crush crying over your limp corpse etc.
MOVING ON. IM REALLY EXCITED, cause I'll be staying over in school tmr. I know, I never thought I'd ever say that.When I left high school, I kept picturing the building up in flames, and the people I dislike running out with their asses on fire. BWAHAHAHA.
I'm such an asshole, but whatever.
AND FUCK ME, my sentences arent joining again. GOD THIS IS FRUSTRATING.
Oh and I really wanna get rid of my Singlish accent for good. But being in Singapore makes it really hard. SADFACE.
I SOOO envy people who can somehow make their sentences connect naturally. Mine are like, idk, all over the fuckin place. SIGH. WILL SOMEONE GOOD IN ENGLISH TEACH ME? ):
Pop goes the Weasel
Friday, October 9, 2009
12:05 AM
Anyways, I watched a show yesterday,
and my Mother told me something which kinda made me think[RARE, I KNOW]
She said, "A doctor should date someone of an equal or higher calibre, that way their dates wouldn't feel left out during a social gathering."
Right there, I've found another reason why I hate people of higher statuses.
It just bothers me when I walk past these people and I can sense their aura of
self-proclaimed almightiness. I get the feeling that normal bumpkins like me
will never be able to communicate with them cause they're just plain snobbish.
Okay, maybe I'm stereotyping; some of them are actually really nice. But c'mon,
those are minority. My friend's father's kinda rich, and he changes his cell phone once
every 2-3 months? BECAUSE HE LIKES THE COLOR.
For one, judging from his fugly Hyundai Tuscon, his taste is like die-REAR.
And secondly, it shows how spoilt he is. I wonder what his face would be like when
he's stripped of his wealth. :D -> D:
Moving on, I really don't wanna evolve from my teenage years. I'm actually afraid.
What if I end up becoming one of those obnoxious adults I hate to the core, what if I
myself end up as detestable as them? I really really pray my rebellious streak isnt just a passing phrase. I get to see things from so many angles, and it changes my perspective of life.
An adult's mind is rigid, because he only believes in one proper way to live life, and that is reflected on every parent's mindset: study hard, get to a good college, a good university, be a lawyer, and rake in the big bucks. Well, kids aren't your money-making tool for your retirement funds so suck on that. It's just annoying, when parents force their children to take up lessons when they have obviously no interest in it, like piano, abacus, violin and the like.
So instead of stretching their potential, parents are just cramming pointless things in them.
I guess that's why I hate adults so much, because they'll never understand us as much as they claim to. They can't say that just because they were once teenagers, hence they know us very well. Each person is well, unique, in his or her own right, so there's no way you'll ever be remotely close.
Just my two cents worth.
I think you'll know more about me from here. This is the reason for my being.
The generation gap's getting too far for comfort, so lets burn the bridges.
And yes I noticed i haven't swore at all during the course of this post.
It's not because I gave up swearing, but rather, I'm forcing myself to finish this post without any inspiration whatsoever. yay me.
Faded
Thursday, October 8, 2009
11:49 PM
Hay guys.
I'm not gonna be ranting today. Or maybe I am, I don't fucking know.
But..
To all those people whom happiness eludes:
I don't know what your problems are,
I don't know what's it like to walk a mile in your battered shoes,
I don't know when the tunnel's gonna end and the rays of the light rekindled,
I can't re-live those sleepless nights you dreaded the most,
but I know that I'll be here to lend a listening ear,
a shoulder to cry on,
and a body to punch.
So the next time you feel like death, just remember that you're not alone. (:
Text me, call me, IM me. I'll be there.
Fuck
Saturday, October 3, 2009
10:57 PM
I'm not in the blogging mood nao.
Shall blog tmr I guess?
Hay pearlyn I still remember your topic. =)
Eggs - Requested by TWIN
Friday, October 2, 2009
10:57 PM
Hay guys.. AGAIN.
I still have some randomness left so hopefully, I can get this post up without digressing.
Anyway, EGGS EGGS FUCKIN EGGS. Nothing can describe my love for eggs. I virtually use it for ANYTHING. Eggs with bread, eggs with rice, eggs with noodles, eggs with salad, eggs with porn, you name it.
An actual serious sentence: Eggs are a good source of protein so for anyone who wants to maximize their workout after-effects, pop an egg like, right before you hit the gym, OR, within
30 minutes after working out.
RIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF? When fuckin scientists pile health claim after health claim. Dosent it suck, when food you like always end up harmful? Like, too much eggs give you high cholesterol, too much red meat causes cancer, sausages causes cancer, msg causes cancer, luncheon meat causes cancer. WHAT.THE.FUCK. SCIENTISTS CAUSES CANCER, THATS FUCKIN WHAT. Im not saying that being a vegan sucks, but we should have a balanced diet, instead of ranting about how sad those farm animals are. Look, if God wanted the world to be vegans, then why do most vegtables taste like SHIT?
Don't get me wrong, I really like some of them, like lettuce, long beans, bean sprouts, stuff like that, but I fuckin hate carrots, peas, corns, parsley, and celery. God they're so nasty.
And vegan meat tastes like fuck. If you don't already know, vegan meat are meade of FLOUR. It's actually more unhealthy cause they use flavourings and such? SO SUCK ON THAT. Why the fuck would I not want to eat 300g of STEAK! OMG
Oh yeah, do you know what egg whites actually are?
They're the sperm from the cock, like, the male CHICKEN GET OVER IT.
And no I won't be grossed out over the fact, I love eggs too much to give them up.
So yeah, whenever you're eating that delicious cheese omelette, and you know, halfway through it gets sticky.. it's not the cheese.
HAHA just playin. I used to hate bread, WHY? Cause my mum told me that eggs were used in the bread. So I bit, and I bit, and I fuckin couldnt detect the eggy smell.
Eww Ben, that little queer. - Ben
In all, I just wanna say that I really fuckin love eggs, cause they're delicious and nutritionally-beneficial and therefore YOU SHOULD LOVE IT TOO! ): okay, maybe everyone has their own preference. Just like how I never get why people love breadded flavouring huh.
Ciao again <3
Global Fuckin Warming - Requested by Kok Pin
10:05 PM
Hay guys welcome to a fresh new fuckin boring topic!
Btw, Kok Pin has a wicked afro.. just putting it out there.
Anyway, global warming. Please, whoever the fuck you are, I bet you're gonna go back to youtube, or youporn, or whatever.
Global warming is caused when toxic gas penetrates the vagina of the world, aka, the fuckin
ozone layer. No actually Singapore is. That fuckin red dot, it's like the crabbs of the ozone layer.
Daaaaaayum that's infected!
Anyways seriously, I don't have proper ideas for this topic cause to be honest, there's no real solution/cause for/of global warming. Shitty campaigns that governments splurge millions on are just about as helpful as most Singaporeans. VIRTUALLY NO HELP WHATSOEVER. PHWOARRRRRR.
Global warming is an incurable disease which kills the same way a cigarette does.
People can only sustain the damage done. It's like, the fuckin hymen's broken, so basically, they're trying to put the cap into the vagina cause when the ozone gets fucked, the DAMAGE won't be so bad. But like ALL other contraceptives a percentage of that damage seeps through. So it's a sad truth, but the hole in the ozone will get bigger and bigger.
Wait... does this EVEN have anything to do with global warming? I don't even fuckin know.
Oh but if the water level rises it's gonna wipe out Singapore FUCK YEAH.
Oh.. my bad, that's pollution. Oh my LORD I'm SORRY Kok Pin, it seemed like I've been bullshitting for the entire erm, half of this post. Anyway,
I kinda welcome global warming, it's like randomizing the Earth's climates, and one day, if Singapore is still holding out, it might just snow here. Do you have any idea how fuckin humid it is here? I've been to Melbourne, and even when the Sun's shining right at me, it's still COLD. But everywhere I go here, i fuckin sweat like as if the pores were 50 cent coins!
Okay sorry that was graphic.
But here's what's gonna happen. If everyone were to sweat as much soon all the hot sweat will melt the ice caps, and that's not all, sweat from Asia especially, will ruin the world. Can you imagine billions sweating at the same time? How sick is that? GALLONS of SWEAT, will eventually flood countries after countries and they will end up in the ocean.
NEXT TIME you see bottled water, DONT FUCKIN BUY THEM, you might end up drinking someone else's sweat. Mongolian essence? sounds hella dank, you might just pick up the scent of genkhis khan...'s corpse.
Kay ciao<3
Mean, mean Man
Thursday, October 1, 2009
7:34 PM
Hay guys, I actually felt sorry for a surveyor today.
Him: Hi, can I have a moment of your time to answer some questions?[in mandrin]
Me:Uh sorry I dont speak Mandrin..
Him:Oh thats okay I can talk to you in English. Where're you from?
Me:I'm from China .____.
I really didnt realise that until my friend was laughing her tiny ass off.
I accidentally fucked around with a surveyor, and I honestly felt bad.
But I'm just sorry he bumped into me at the wrong time.
I was walking around, looking for places for The Amazing Race; an activity for my camp.
I was tired, sweaty, and my legs had been completely raped by the endless walking.
So I'm sorry. Next time, I'll apologize after fucking you up mmkay?
Naw just playin, I usually respond to their stupid questions. teehee!
I saw a family of Japanese on the train today, and they were fuckin LOVABLE.
The mother had to look after three kids, but she was still smiling. That is why Singaporeans are so loathsome, they fuckin complain at every single shit, like literally EVERY single shit.
If you go to, www.singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen , you'll see pointless complaints pouring in everyday.
Things like:
'Schoolgirl eats sweets in train, isn't she afraid of the fine that awaits?'
Course, it was filled with grammar errors. This is how I think originally went,
'Scholgril eaten swett at train, why she no afraided of the money penerty[penalty] that is to awaiting?'
I'm not fuckin exaggerating, some locals are that bad at English. And they're like, "Ohh shame on people who can't speak Mandrin instead." Bitch please, which language is fuck in?
Yeah so FUCK YOU, ChinaCunt. People like you, are basically the rednecks of Singapore.
Pop a beer and fuck beer aunties, hella sweet huh.
Anyway this isn't gonna be a long post cause I need help from you guys.
See, I'm gonna try something new[short-lived as usual]. But while it lasts, I want you guys to tag me, giving me a topic to blog about. I'll type it up there, who it was requested from.
So yeah. do me that favour please <3.
EDIT* I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN BLOGGER DELETES SEGMENTS OF MY POST.
OMG FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! ):
It was about Miss Singapore. I'm just gonna rush through this one.
So basically she gave a stupid, senseless retort to all the criticisms she had citing her poor English.
She was like, "Oooooh yeah my English's so bad that I got an A1 for my O levels[High School Finals for Americans]."
Okay Ris Low..Class English, that was so elementary school. Nobody uses that retort anymore, it just shows your desperation to reclaim your virtually non-existent reputation.
And we ALL don't give a fuck about your English grades. You probably paid for your As, just like how you paid for your fuckin Miss Singapore Crown. Suck a dick, whore, you definitely act like one. That's probably why your credit cards were maxed out and you had to nick other people's to buy your fuckin vibrators.
You don't really need them though, you're gonna get laid pretty soon, mostly by Singaporean rednecks, but you'll get used to it.
So I'mma leave this here for you lovely motherfuckers to pile on the topics! <3
Honey, I won the state elections! - Politician
Omg honestly? - Wife
Hey, why bring that up? ): - Politician
Nuff said.