That Fuckin Nerd
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
12:24 AM
Hay guys, I was wondering, what if I could have mah split personalities magnified here.
hmmmm......
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Good day everybody, my name is Ben, and I am so excited to be blogging,
even though I really much prefer reading the encyclopedia. I have read it a
grand total of 67435 times. Did you know, that's the exact amount of IQ I have.
I am still unsure if IQ can be counted. I haven't really got the time to do an extended
research on that. That is because I'm rather busy with the annual science fair.
I'm helping this very nice company build a mechanical horse. But for some reason,
instead of a horse, I'm supposed to use a rather long stick of corn, expect that it's twice
as long and it's pale, like the color of my happysacks. I don't really like that word,
because it sounds inappropriate ghetto name for such a magnificent body part, the testicle.
Enough about that, I shall now lament about my days in school. As a budding genius, I am,
as expected, constantly bullied. That's okay though. Personally, I find that kind of action childish, and I try to tolerate, thanks to the superb advice my mother gave to me: He who laughs last laughs best. So, instead of using my mega punch on them, I wait til the last bell rings, and then I start laughing. HAH! I WIN!
Back to present, I am going to tell you what I'm good at. I can make people laugh, and I am very proud about that. Let me tell you, my jokes are top notch. Okay here's one: What did one weed addict say to another? Why the bong face! Please stop laughing now, I need to continue my story. But that's understandable, I have that effect on everyone. In fact, when people see me, they already start laughing before I can tell another one of my classic jokes.
I dislike distasteful jokes, I really do. I hate it when delinquents misuse the elements of the
periodic table for their senseless jokes. Last christmas, the class jerk Rob told me to have a Merry Bismuth. What the fornication is that supposed to mean? He is such a queer. I don't get it though, why is he so popular? Maybe cause he's the first to respond to my jokes, by that I mean he laughs the hardest when he sees me. Then I should be popular, because I have such a dominating effect on him. I think I'm invited to his birthday party later, but I have not gotten an invitation. I think that is because he knows how popular I am, and he needs to get permission to enter my house.
That happens in school too. Nobody goes near me.
Well I'm sorry everyone, I have to go prepare for the party. I will be getting him a science book about lesbian cows.
Goodbye all!
