вэииу вĿαѕρнэму

вэииу вĿαѕρнэму

17
I LOVE:
Nature and Travelling
God
Good music
Good books
Random things and awesome friends.

INFLUENCES:
Zacky Vengeance
Obviously, God
Destery Moore
Nathan Owens
Chris Dakota
Sam Llansing
Luke Nugent
Audrey Kitching
Meghan Camarena
Shane Dawson
Elijah S. Arms

HEROES:
God
Myu
Cheryl
Daniel
Daryl
Rachel
Jollin
Denise

TRAITS:
Random
Incoherent
I don't smoke
I like good alcohol.

ABOUT ME:
Hello, I'm Benjamin, but other names with a remote resemblance will do. I like traveling and appreciating nature,
because the world has too little of it left. I really wanna seek that inner peace in my heart wherever I am, whatever I'm doing.

I try my best to accept everyone as they are.

My Tale to Tell

Friday, October 23, 2009
10:45 PM

People have been asking, well either that, or it's probably in your minds.
How do I deal with love, you know, that powerful L word, that will either make,
or break a person.
Do I get lovesick?
Do I you know, fall head over heels for a girl?

I don't know what kinda impression you have of me, mostly bad perhaps.
I know that cause I scare off some of my Christian friends. Oops?
Mainly cause I'm controversial and all.
Maybe I'm not your average 17 year old guy.
Not the let's-club-and-get-high person.
I don't go to town much, therefore I'm pretty much your country bumpkin.
But no matter how much a misfit I am to the world, I'm not exempted from love.

That's right, I fall deep in love sometimes. The usual stuff,
fall in love, get over her, fall in love again, ge- yeah.
I'll be honest, it's easy for me to get over girls. I can
like, *snap*, just like that, and I'm through.
Maybe not that quick, couple of days maybe?
But, I don't even know if I'm really that fortunate to have this nonchalance,
or am I in denial.

And I know how I've mentioned before that I hate it when people keep blogging about
how sad they are and stuff. It's not that they shouldn't blog about it at all, just, don't overdo it.
Cause for the first time in like, months, I've actually felt the sharp sting when love bites.
To be honest, I'm really, really afraid, cause I don't wanna be the horrible guy that I've been.
Old characteristics are like periodical zombies; just when you think you've buried them,
they come back to haunt you sometimes, and when they do, you're so afraid, that they might devour you and take over your soul. You remember the joy when your shovel struck the hard ground, you felt so victorious, like the old, cursed chapter of your life had been permanently
sealed, and a new one was about to begin. You try to reach for that feeling, but fear seizes you. That's how I'm feeling now.

I've never had any self-confidence to begin with. Coupled with this, my life is just about over.
Therefore, I never want to see my personal zombies ever again.
What is/are your personal zombies then?

Anyway, yes, love, you can run away from everything else,
but that. I've hurt someone and I feel shitty about it.
It's about time I took up arms to fight my zombies off.
Maybe you should too.